I approached this study by looking at the five W's: who, what, when, where, and why.
WHO
Who should we be submissive to?
God: “Submit yourselves then to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you.” James 4:7-8
One to another: “Submit to one another out of reverence to Christ”. Ephesians 5: 21
*This "one to another" verse is for marriages as well as fellow man. I had a hard time understanding this, honestly. I had to go to my husband and say "huh? How am I supposed to be submissive to you and you be submissive to me? I don't understand". He explained it to me in this way: In a company, in the Army, there is a commander and a sergeant major. The commander obviously outranks the sergeant major, but they do work together to manage the Company. The commander is in "command", while the sergeant major is "in charge". The commander has the overall authority, but the day-to-day operations are supervised by the sergeant major. So, you see, they are working, together. One is over the other, but they are managing the same team. Substitute commander for husband and sergeant major for wife in this example. I had an "oh, I get it" moment:) I hope you do too!
Husband: “Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord”. Ephesians 5:22
Oh, snap! "as to the Lord"....Yes, that's what it says:)
Authority: “Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.” Hebrews 13:17
I can think of many times that I have not been submissive to authority. In my teenage years, I was a little rebellious (as most of us were), and I can recall several instances where I was not submissive to not only my parents, but teachers as well.
What about bosses? preachers? the President? Yes, we must submit, to all of their authority.
Our husbands big BOSS is the President, Commander-in-chief!
WHAT
What exactly does it mean to submit?
Definition: the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.
***In one of my Bibles, the word "submit" is replaced with the word "humble". What a way to reveal the real meaning of the word! Humble yourself, submit to your husband.
Humble: Marked by meekness or modesty in behavior, attitude, or spirit; not arrogant or prideful. Showing deferential or submissive respect: a humble apology.
“Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” Romans 12:10
Honor means to respect and love.
Honor your husband and delight in it!
Humble yourself, let go of your pride.
Submit.
What if my husband isn't saved?
That's easy. That is addressed in 1 Peter.
1 Peter 3: 1-9
“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.”
WHEN
When is submitting easy? hard? When you agree? disagree?
Submitting is VERY easy when it is something that I agree with my husband on, but difficult if I do not agree. It's not difficult to "physically" commit to whatever my husband has said that I do not agree with, it's more emotionally hard for me to submit. FOR EXAMPLE, there is a television series that I like to watch that I know is spiritually wrong--I watched it anyway. My husband, who had never seen the show, came into the living room and watched a little of it with me. Within minutes, he was saying "this is spiritually wrong, it should not be coming into our house, etc". NOW, it is EASY for me to physically STOP watching this show that my husband asked me not to watch, BUT it is HARD for me to not get a little upset with him when he watches stuff that I don't think we should be watching in our home. Submission occurs in your mind first. If I don't agree with what my husband has said and put into effect in my home, and submit only "physically" but not emotionally, then there is potential for a root of bitterness to plant itself. We must be careful to submit wholeheartedly. If there is something that we do not agree with, with our husband, we can pray and ask God to reveal to our husband what we believe to be truth. In the case of the show, he's right:) He usually is:)
I bet you want to know which television show I'm talking about:) LOL!
Can you be submissive even when your husband is deployed/TDY?
Yes, but there is more room for error when he is away. We can get into the "head of the home" mindset and believe we are entitled to do whatever it is we want. Not true. Away or home, your husband is still the spiritual leader of your household and we should still be submissive to him. If communication is scarce and you have a decision to make without inquiring your husband, pray first, and do what you know God and your husband would want you to do. You know how your husband thinks. You're married. Separation will not change his mindset. It shouldn't change yours.
Is there a time to not submit to your husband?
Obviously if your husband is asking you to break the law, then that is a time to not submit.
A great example of a time a wife did not submit to her husband in the Bible, where the wife was right and the husband was wrong, is the story of Abigail and Nabal in 1 Samuel 25: 4-42. I encourage you to read it:)
Examples in the Bible of submitting to the proper authority:
David and King Saul: David had MANY opportunities to kill King Saul, yet he didn't because he knew that King Saul was appointed by God. David was submissive to God and the authority that was placed over him.
Military example in the Bible of someone that DID NOT submit to authority: Joab, the commander of David’s army. This man was the opposite of submissive. He killed, even when told not to. He avenged the death of his brother, ordered the death of one of David's sons, killed another commander of the army, placing himself back into leadership.
WHERE
Where is submission to our husbands found in the Bible?
1 Peter 3
Ephesians 5
Where are the areas in our lives that we need to submit to our husbands that we may still be holding onto?
This next verse says that we are to submit in everything. Yes, everything. Emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, everything.
“As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everthing”. Ephesians 5:24
Where do we fall in the “rank” of submission?
I bet many of you have seen the J.O.Y. acronym hung on the walls of many churches and Sunday school classrooms:
J.O.Y.
Jesus first
Other’s second
Yourself, last!
WHY
Why must we submit?
Simple, the Bible tells us to do so. We are commanded to do so. Submission opens the door to many blessings.
Why is it so hard to be submissive to authority in general?
Our flesh is rebellious by nature, so of course this is something we will struggle with. Die daily to self. Renew yourself daily in the Word. Humble yourself. Honor others.
Does being a military wife make it harder to submit?
Sometimes. Again, we so often get in the routine of our husbands being gone and us being in charge. When they return, it's hard to transition into the right position again. I've caught myself thinking before "okay, okay, I will agree with him and do whatever it is because he'll be gone soon and I can do whatever I want to do anyway". I am absolutely in the wrong for even thinking this way, but I'm human--it happens. This is exactly how the enemy wants us military wives to think! This brings strife into our marriages because eventually our husbands come home and see what we have been doing our way and this brings on a whole new set of issues!
Being submissive is a process, but it's a process that we can get through.
Thank you, God, for your Word. Thank you for leading us in Your direction and transforming us into the wives You have called us to be!
No comments:
Post a Comment