Thursday, August 9, 2012

Emotionally Something...

This post should be titled: "The Day After He Leaves..."
The last time my husband left, I found myself crying in a nice ladies office at the car dealership. 
Why? 
They had not put an air filter back onto my car correctly after an oil change, causing it to overheat five minutes after I had left. And I felt like this happened strictly because I had nothing else better to deal with! (That was in sarcastic font:) 
I walked back into the dealership, told them in my nice voice that they had screwed my car up, walked upstairs to a nice ladies office, and proceeded to have a minor breakdown. 
Yep, tears and all.  
Full blown, snot pouring, cry voice, ugly face...
Crying.

This tends to happen to me at least once, every deployment. 
The time before that: my girl accidentally spilled water on the keyboard of my new computer. No damage was done, still I cried. 
The time before that: my roof sprung a leak. Again, simple fix, but still I cried. 
The time before that: the septic backed up. GROSS! 
There's more, but you get it. 

The point: the enemy LOVES to strike us while we're down.
Everything falling apart the day after our husband's leave, is not an accident. 

Our husband's leave. 
Things happen, that he would typically handle.
How do you handle it emotionally?
Physically, we handle many things alone.
Why?
Because what choice do we have?
Emotionally, though?
The correct answer: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me..."
Do we honestly believe that though?
Do we walk in that faith?
I just admitted, that sometimes I don't.
I'm weak.
I'm emotionally susceptible--especially when he leaves!
And to be perfectly honest, I don't want to handle any of it alone!
I'm a married woman!
I'm half of a whole!
I'm mom, he's dad!
WHY ME?
This is NOT the picture of marriage that I have had instilled into me, my whole life.

Is this fake picture of marriage what makes ours so hard? 
Because we can't meet that expectation? 
That's another lie of the enemy. 
Remember that. 


And grasp this:
This is your path. This is your lot in life. He knew this is where you would be before the foundation of time.
Right here, right now.
In the middle of a deployment...
In the middle of a TDY...
In the middle of a valley...
In the middle of financial struggle...
In the middle of stress and anxiety...
In the middle of a peak...
He knows.
He's in control.
Seriously.
He has a plan for you.
He knows you.
He knit you in your mother's womb.
He knew you would be a military wife.
It is NOT more than you can handle.
He's in control.

Military wife reality: we are apart at times, but we are never alone.
Remember that too.
Even when you are alone, you're not. He's there with you.
Seek Him and I promise (actually He promises) that you will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13).







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